3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
