operation have a gay friend backfired
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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