A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
