hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize