Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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