it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize