Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
