you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I need to align my fucking chakras
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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