yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
