I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just high enough for therapy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
