Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
