I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We had sex on a dog bed..
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
