ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
