Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
