My sheets look like a crime scene.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
