can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize