$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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