And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize