this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
