M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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