So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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