therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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