I think I am morally bankrupt
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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