if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
