I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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