Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize