he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
