If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
do nipples grow back?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
