white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
