brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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