I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
