I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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