I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she peed on how many people?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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