I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
