Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
