I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
