The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
