after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize