yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
