I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
