she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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