Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize