I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
