Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
