i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
