the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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