If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
