PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
