I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
