Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize