I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize