p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
