I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
