i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
