we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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