Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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