I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
