why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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