dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
