This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
