In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
