She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
