I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
