i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
