Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
